


Arthur Pendragon Is Not A Wizard

by tehfanglyfish



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: And Not Overanalyze Things, Arthur is back, But We're Here To Have Fun, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Modern Era, Past Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Post-Canon, Sexual Content, Virgin Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Virginity Is A Weird Social Construct
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29757168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehfanglyfish/pseuds/tehfanglyfish
Summary: Merlin and Arthur watchCherry Magic, leading to several unexpected revelations.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 101
Collections: Merlin Bingo





	Arthur Pendragon Is Not A Wizard

**Author's Note:**

> Hello anxiety, my old friend.  
> You made me write ridiculous shit again.  
> (But hey, I had fun and I feel better so who cares?)
> 
> This is my fill for Merlin Bingo square I1- Gwaine/Merlin. Thank you, mods, for this fest and having such relaxed rules for interpreting the squares XD
> 
> Readers unfamiliar with Cherry Magic may find [this Wikipedia synopsis ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_Magic!_Thirty_Years_of_Virginity_Can_Make_You_a_Wizard%3F!)to be helpful. 
> 
> Obvious statement is obvious - I don't own any of these characters, this franchise, or profit from this... whatever it is.
> 
> Also, don't repost my work, thank you kindly.

“It’s not true,” Arthur said as the ending credits flashed on the screen.

“What’s not true?”

What Merlin really wanted to know was why Arthur had chosen to rest a hand on his shoulder. Drawing attention to it, though, would likely result in Arthur withdrawing it. Better to focus on Arthur’s words instead.

“The show we just watched. It’s not true.”

“Right,” Merlin began. He thought Arthur had already mastered this lesson of modern life, but maybe he was wrong. “A lot of shows are stories, like books. Adachi and Kurosawa are characters, not…”

“I know that, Merlin. I’m not as thick as you think. What I mean is, it won’t make you into a wizard.”

He said the words so earnestly Merlin couldn’t help but laugh. Arthur glared at him.

“Well, obviously not. That isn’t how magic works.”

“Exactly. If you’re to be believed, you were born with magic. It didn’t suddenly kick in when you turned thirty just because you hadn’t slept with anyone. The show is wrong.”

“It’s a good thing, too. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be sitting here now because I would have gone my whole life without becoming a sorcerer.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“That I wasn’t a virgin when I turned thirty. Anyway, what do you want to watch next? We still haven’t seen…”

“Who?”

“Who what?”

“Who did you sleep with?”

“I don’t really see how that’s any of your business.”

“If it was before you turned thirty, it means it was in my kingdom while I was king. That makes it very much my business.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that Camelot’s government kept those kinds of records.”

“Stop stalling. Who was it?”

“Gwen.”

“You slept with my wife?”

“She wasn’t your wife at the time – you weren’t even interested in her then. Besides, it was just the once. We worked better as friends.”

Arthur huffed but seemed relieved. “If it was only once, I guess that’s alright.”

“It was twice with Lancelot.” The grip on Merlin’s shoulder tightened. “I don’t even know how many times it was with Gwaine and…”

“Gwaine. You slept with Gwaine.” Arthur’s fingers were now digging into Merlin’s skin and his jaw was locked in that way that meant he was properly mad.

“It was fifteen hundred years ago, Arthur. I’m not sure why it matters now. It’s not like Gwaine is still here anyway.” Merlin regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, but for once Arthur didn’t flinch at a mention of who they’d lost.

“And that’s good for him. If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him. I can’t believe you did… _that_ … with him.”

“So it was ok when it was Gwen or Lancelot?”

“Yes. They’re different.”

“How?”

“They weren’t Gwaine.”

“Arthur, are you ok? Because you sound upset and I’m not entirely sure what’s wrong. I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously something or else you wouldn’t be clinging to my shoulder so hard it will leave bruises tomorrow.”

Arthur jerked his hand back and Merlin immediately missed the contact, even if it had been cutting off the blood flow.

“I just thought…”

“What?”

“That we were the same, you and I.”

“The same?”

“I thought you hadn’t. With anyone. Like me.”

Was Arthur saying what he thought Arthur was saying?

“But you slept with Gwen.”

“I slept in the same bed as Guinevere. But we didn’t… We were also better as friends.”

“Oh.” That was news to Merlin, though it explained why the babies didn’t arrive until after Camlann, when Gwen married Leon.

“There wasn’t anyone before,” Arthur continued. “There could have been, if he’d wanted me, but… anyway, doesn’t matter. I married a friend, then I died, and now here I am. You know I haven’t seen anyone since you found me by the lake.”

Merlin reached for Arthur’s hand out of habit as he always did when Arthur mentioned his death.

“And I’m touching you right now, but I can’t hear your thoughts. Which means that _Cherry Magic_ isn’t real.” Warm fingers interlaced with Merlin’s as Arthur kept his eyes locked on the screen in front of them, Adachi and Kurosawa frozen where Merlin had paused the video. “Besides, even if it was real, Adachi would never have become a wizard because he would have known that Kurosawa liked him.”

“How would he have known?” Merlin knew there were other things they probably should be discussing but this seemed the safest. “It’s not like Kurosawa gave any obvious clues. Besides, Kurosawa was popular and perfect, while Adachi was a mess.”

“An adorable mess.”

“True, but still a mess. Speaking as someone who _is_ a mess, Adachi wouldn’t have expected someone like Kurosawa to like him. Popular perfect people don’t want messes. They want other popular perfect people.”

“That’s stupid. Speaking as a former popular perfect person, the last thing I would have wanted was someone like me. Why do you think I kept turning down those princesses? Besides, adorable messes can be incredibly endearing. And hot.”

“Right. Like _you_ would think _I’m_ hot.” Merlin had come to terms with the fact that he and Arthur would share a strictly platonic connection ages ago. “But forget about _Cherry Magic_. What do you want to watch next?”

“You _are_ hot.”

“I… what?”

“You, Merlin, are hot. I’ve thought so since I first met you. If I was going to sleep with anyone, it would be you. Don’t look so surprised. You had to know.”

“How would I possibly have known? You never said anything.”

“Of course I did. Maybe not directly, but why do you think I was talking about knee walking and your sore little bottom, or slapping you all the time?”

“Because you were a royal ass?”

“I was coming on to you. But apparently you were too busy getting in Gwaine’s breeches to care. Did you let him…”

“We are not going to discuss what I may or may not have done with Gwaine hundreds of years ago.”

“You seriously didn’t notice I was interested?”

“No.”

“Ah.”

Merlin’s mind wandered back to the past, replaying the countless instances where Arthur had teased or tormented him. At the time, he’d honestly believed that it had been nothing more than Arthur having a laugh. But, looking back on it, maybe he had missed something. Not that Arthur had been all that clear in his communication.

“I suppose,” Merlin finally said, letting his thumb rub against Arthur’s wrist, “that it makes sense. You did once punch me to cheer me up. Of course, your idea of flirting wouldn’t be… traditional.”

“Now you catch on,” Arthur grumbled, “several centuries after the fact.”

Would it have changed anything, Merlin wondered, if he had caught on? Arthur faced enough pushback for marrying Gwen. To have chosen not only a servant but a man… Although that was assuming that Arthur wanted something more than a bed partner. But the past was done and there was no changing it. Better to focus on the future instead.

“Does it matter?” Merlin asked, breaking the uneasy silence. “I mean, I am late but… does it matter?”

“You’re not making sense, Merlin.”

“Oh, so now the king of the indirect approach is having trouble following. I see how it is.” Arthur’s free hand delivered a playful punch to Merlin’s arm. “What I mean is, we still could… sleep together. If you want to.”

Merlin was relieved they were having this conversation side-by-side rather than face-to-face, as he could feel his cheeks turning what had to be a deep crimson.

“Well,” Arthur said slowly, “it depends.”

“On what?”

“What you want after. I don’t just want… What I mean is, don’t invite me to your bed if you don’t want me to stay.”

“I waited fifteen hundred years for you, Arthur.” Merlin gripped his hand tighter. “Even if you want to run away, I’m not going to let you go.”

Arthur squeezed back just as hard. “Then stop stealing Kurosawa’s lines and kiss me.”

With an invitation like that, how could Merlin resist?

They were both out of practice and overly eager, but if Arthur didn’t mind, then neither did Merlin. Judging by his enthusiasm, Arthur would have been content to let things go further right there on the couch, but Merlin wasn’t having it.

“Let’s go to bed,” he panted.

Arthur nodded, then stood up, dragging Merlin down the hall behind him.

Kissing led to touching, Merlin’s hands wandering Arthur’s body, slipping under his shirt, lingering when he found places that earned him a gasp or whimper. Then Arthur was doing the same, fighting with Merlin’s clothes along the way.

“You always needed help with dressing,” Merlin teased as he stripped off Arthur’s shirt.

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur growled as he tried and failed to help Merlin with his.

“See? You’re proving my point,” Merlin laughed as he tossed it aside. His hands stopped as reached for the button of Arthur’s jeans. “You’re sure?”

Arthur nodded. “Please.”

There was something so desperate in his tone that Merlin had no choice but to resume kissing him, refusing to break contact as he managed to free them both from what was left of their clothes.

One day, one day soon he hoped, they would do this again but slower. Merlin would take his time, learning exactly what Arthur liked while showing him what Merlin had fantasized about over the centuries.

But that would have to wait. Because Arthur was falling back against the covers, pulling Merlin down on top of him. The realization that Arthur was in his bed, underneath him, caused Merlin’s mind to momentarily freeze, his body taking over instead.

He knew he could do better than the needy, frantic grinding that felt amazing, yes, but would do little to convince Arthur that he should do this with Merlin again. Except Arthur didn’t seem to care, as he was clinging to Merlin while his own hips tried to thrust up under the weight bearing down on him. It was uncoordinated and graceless. It shouldn’t have worked, but it did. And it was over almost as soon as it started, Arthur groaning out Merlin’s name as he came, Merlin following almost immediately after.

“If I was a wizard before,” Arthur said, arms still wrapped around Merlin, “I’m definitely not one now.”

Merlin laughed, then kissed him.

“So you don’t know what my plans are for the rest of the night?” he asked when Arthur finally let him go.

“No clue. You’ll have to tell me.”

“First, I’m going to order dinner. Then we’re going to have a shower while we wait for the food. And when it gets here, we’re taking it and my laptop back to bed. You will answer my question about what you want to watch next while we eat, and then we will make sure, with absolute certainty, that you are not a wizard. Because I’m not entirely convinced.”

“Maybe we should…” There was a hint of unease as Arthur trailed off.

“If that’s alright, of course. We don’t have to. We can go back to the couch or go out for food or…”

“No. I like your plan. It’s just, maybe we should shower first, then order. So that someone is available to answer the door and not… busy.”

The blush on Arthur’s face was adorable and it took all of Merlin’s self-control not to start kissing him again right then and there.

“Arthur Pendragon, you are not only beautiful, but you are also brilliant. Now come on. We only have two hours before online ordering closes.”


End file.
